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Friday, August 29, 2014

That Week that was Better {week 2}

Monday
We had another good day at CC. 

I'm making an effort to reach out to some of the new CC moms so that they feel connected to the community (unlike how I felt much of last year).  I'm also contemplating tutoring next year -- possibly the Essentials class.  Not only would tutoring be fun, but it would greatly help with the expense of CC (Cade starts Challenge A next year which means more cost). But I'm just a nervous nelly. I lack the confidence needed to step up and say I'll tutor.  So more prayer needed in this area.

Oh, and we may or may not have had a dance party when we got home from CC.



Tuesday
Tuesday was also a good day.  Not too many meltdowns (including me) and we got quite a bit of work done.  We had our first piano lesson with a new teacher on Tuesday, and she was a joy. 



Unfortunately, what was supposed to be an hour afternoon lesson (30 minutes for each boy) turned into a two hour affair, complete with oohing and aahing at the expansive model train setup the teacher's husband is in the 8-year process of building.




We still had school left to do when we finally got home from piano.  But we got just about everything done.

Wednesday
With the exception of repeat meltdowns by a particular kid, Wednesday was a pretty good day
Cade, who has a difficult time waking up on time, was not ready to go at 8 AM Wednesday morning (nor was he ready Tuesday at 8AM).  So for the 2nd day in a row, he was grounded from electronics.  Which is a big deal considering Jack purchased a used xbox 360 this past Friday and it's still very new to the kids. Cade came to me with a deal: if he could finish all of his work before 1:30 (which is a feat considering how long it takes this kid to finish math and how hard it is for him to focus), he could then play electronics (but still no TV).  I agreed to this deal, mainly to encourage him and show him that he can focus when his mind is made set.

So he worked.  And worked.  And worked.  And he did it.  He finished by 12:30.


I told Cade I won't be so lenient in the future about our school's start time. Nor will I make any more deals with him.

We didn't quite get everything done Wednesday.  And that was my fault.  I kind of ran out of gas after lunch.  And since there was a day Ranger game... well, it seemed that it was a good enough excuse to call it a day.

Thursday
Look who woke up on time!



Thursday was a very good day.  No one cried (!).  No one!  Not even me!  It was joyous.  Kids were focused, and we got all of our work done.



Friday
Friday.  My favorite day of the week.  This one, however, started out kinda sucky.

Jack had requested a cake to accompany his sleepover later that night, and I had forgotten to get the cake stuff earlier in the week.  So at 7:00 AM, I lugged myself to the grocery store (with sopping wet hair) to get ingredients. I made it back by 7:45 and started baking the cake.  The kids, who wanted to have "early release" that day, had already started working on some of their work before I got back from the store.  Only some were confused about what lessons to do and some were confused by their lessons.  So while I was trying to measure ingredients, mix said ingredients, clean up the kitchen from my messes, and get the cake in the oven, kids were getting frustrated upstairs. 

By the time I got upstairs to start school (not much after 8:00, thank you very much), things were going haywire.  Jack prayed for our day and for me to not get too frustrated.  I stopped everyone from working on their current subject/lesson and we started with our Bible study (a good place to start).  Only, one kid refused -- REFUSED -- to do their Bible work.  It was the weirdest thing.  The assignment was to draw a picture from the story and verses we talked and read about this week (Hannah, Samuel, and Eli).  That was it.  Just draw a stinkin' stick figure type picture. And this kid moaned that they didn't know what to draw and that they didn't want to draw.  So I said to pick any aspect of the story and draw that.  It doesn't have to be their favorite part of the story.  Just any part of the story.  And still:  absolute refusal.  So I sent this kid to their room to think about obedience, their attitude and their willingness to be a student at our school. 

GEESH. I was about to pull my hair out. And it was only 8:15. The drawing itself that i had asked for wasn't a big deal.  But this kid (and I) made it a big deal with our standoff.

Finally, this kid was brought back into the fold after 15 or so minutes.  They apologized to me for being difficult and did the drawing I had initially asked for.  FinallyIt was finished.

General Thoughts
The repeat meltdowns, mainly by the one kid (see Wednesday above), need to stop. Not only are they disruptive to our day, but the meltdowns are exhausting to deal with. The meltdowns are happening because of frustration with a sibling; but the frustrations are unreasonable.  This kid shouldn't be letting these particular things bother them, and they shouldn't let these things bother them so much that they resort to tears (and the rending of garments if I let it go too far).

I've tried to teach this particular kid that they need to pay attention to when they are getting frustrated and use their words nicely to let us know that they are becoming frustrated.  Or go take a break.  Walk away.  Go get a drink of water.  Practice deep breathing.  Something -- anything -- to stop the cycle of frustration & meltdown. But they must not be mature enough to notice and take action yet.  And I'm not always able to help them notice the start of the cycle (if I'm, say, working with another kid one-on-one).  Or if I am able to point out the beginnings of frustration, I'm unable to keep the cycle from happening regardless. 

So I'm at a loss on how to deal with this mess. Any thoughts or ideas from my four faithful readers?

Otherwise, we had a decent. week.  I will hold the memory of Thursday (no meltdowns and no tears) in my heart for a long time as a reminder that those kind of days can happen.

4 comments:

Becky Oden said...

Here is my 2 cents..
The kid with the meltdowns.. So the going theory is to recognize it's coming and stop it before it spins out of control. But either he doesn't recognize or can't stop it. Maybe he can feel it coming or you can sense it coming be he can't verbalize it. Perhaps he needs a flag or bandana. All he has to do is throw down the bandana and it's an "automatic out" for him. He gets to leave school no questions asked and take a break for a few min doing something he likes.. Even 15 min of tv if it's necessary. The he comes back after calming and relaxing and picks up where he was. You can throw the flag too and it only means you see a melt down coming. He's not in trouble bc he hasn't done anything yet. You are just giving him a chance to break before he does. Make the break an agree upon activity

Becky Oden said...

something everyone is aware of so he knows exactly where to go and what to do when the flag is thrown.

And about Cade.. can he have a later start time like 830 or 900? He would be responsible for getting to school on time for the privilege of starting late. And you would have the opportunity to start the day with only 2 kids.

The other kids might complain that its not fair that one kid gets a TV break (or whatever) when he is frustrated or one kid gets to start late. But really, being fair is giving them each what they need, not the exact same thing.

Sorry for the book.. :)

Unknown said...

LOVE this, Becky. Thanks for your two cents (your words are worth at least 14 cents). ;)

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